Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Someone reacted to my circumcision story

My story: 

In a circumcision debate I had said:

I am and I never wanted to be. I was done at 5 years and I begged the doctor not to cut. He didn't even went to my parents, he just sedated me and proceeded. To me, that was aggravated assault.

She says:

You almost got a little sympathy from me til I remembered another little boy begging the dr's not to cut thanks to an idiot that thought he should be told exactly what they were gonna do to him right before surgery. That was my son, right before surgery to repair a damaged aorta. If I or the dr's had listened to him he'd be dead now. No, it's not the same, but there are a few points you're missing here. Have you ever seen a toddler with frequent infections down there and listened to them scream in agony? I have and it ain't pretty. Some boys just tend to get infections a lot no matter how well you take care of it and this can be the best option for them. If you have so much trauma from it so many years later, maybe you should spend more time advocating that children not be told all the gory details before ANY procedure and that if parents want circumcisions on their kids, it should be done while they're babies instead of fully functioning, vocal, and capable of remembering it for life instead of whining about something that happened to you and can't be changed. FYI ... After seeing his friend get injured down there which caused the kid to be circumcised at 17, my son was extremely grateful that his was done as a babe and it was a nightmare he'd never have the slightest chance of enduring as an adult and a process he'd never remember going through. And the extra steps involved in cleaning it properly? Yeah right! Have you seen how lazy these kids are now? To each his own, but respect others choices whether you like them or not as others are trying to respect yours.

My response:

I do understand your point, but you don't seem to understand mine. Circumcision is an ELECTIVE surgery. Most of the times it's not treating a life threatening situation. Most of the times you can leave the child intact and he won't need it.

Circumcision should be used with therapeutic reasons. I have not seen a toddler do what you said (and I grew up where circumcision was not prevalent, and I also have an intact son), but there are SOME cases where it is therapeutically needed, and if that's what the toddler needed, well, then that's the moment to treat him. When he needs it.

Same with the kid at 17. He got injured, he got treated. Too bad he got injured in the first place. Most people don't get injured.

But to say that we should circumcise all children because some will need it and because some will get injured is just uncalled for. That's like performing routinary heart surgeries on all babies because some will grow to need a heart surgery, so better to do it while they can't remember? No, it doesn't work like that.

And you make me think of something. If anything about my own operation, I'm grateful I learned what was going to happen before it did. I'm glad I was just not sedated and cut and later have to find out what was done to me. Because for one moment, it made me aware of my own body and how I loved my own body the way it was. Because it gave me the strength to speak up 35 years later. Because I know that I asked to be left intact, and my voice was not heard. That is empowering to me. I'm glad I just didn't grow up not knowing that I had had a body part that got removed. I prefer knowing, because knowing gives power.

No, I don't wish it had been done at birth. That would be like wishing I had been raped while I was passed out. No, that would have been totally wrong.

Thank you for giving me something to think about. Most people don't do that.

No comments:

Post a Comment